maro Lip Schtick: Movies for Dummiesp

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Movies for Dummies

Chase is quite the movie (er, film) aficionado. I have enjoyed his movie reviews and Top Ten lists. I would in turn, like to throw my hat into the ring.

Now, if you've read this blog at all, I think it's pretty clear that I don't like to have to think really hard. That said, I enjoy movies that entertain me. They don't have to be Oscar worthy. They just have to touch me emotionally.

So, I give you my Top Ten list of not-so-great movies that I heart (in other words, if I've got nothing else to do and I see that one of these movies is on, I'll probably watch it):

10 - Soapdish
Most times, when you get an ensemble cast of decent actors together, the movie ends up sucking. But not this one.

Sally Field is neurotic, yet likeable (not meant to be a reference to the "you really like me!" Oscar schpiel) ...

... Elisabeth Shue is fresh, young (and if I do say so myself, hot) ...

... Whoopi Goldberg is great in one of the few roles in which she's not constantly screaming to the top of her lungs ...

... Robert Downey, Jr. is smarmy, yet witty and charming ...

... and this one of the few movies in which Kevin Kline doesn't give me the creeps (I don't know what it is about Kev, but eeewww).

Plus, it's just a good movie. Schmaltzy, yet clever.

9 - Boomerang
I'm sorry. This movie just cracks me up. I can't even describe it. Just see it. Guys will love the guy stuff, girls will love the romance stuff. It's another movie with lots of well-known actors (Eddie Murphy, Halle Berry, Martin Lawrence, Tisha Campbell, Robin Givens, and Lela Rochon, to name a few) that doesn't disappoint. Well, doesn't disappoint me, anyway.

8 - Old School
Will Ferrell as the "straight guy." Hard to picture, but he's hilarious at it. And who can resist the streaking scene? Or the tranquilizer dart scene (most of my guy friends LOVE that one).

Also, Luke Wilson is just plain hot. Can't go wrong with Luke.

7 - Nine to Five
They just don't make 'em like Dabney Coleman anymore.

6 - New Jack City
This movie rules. I never would have watched it until some buddies of mine in college begged me to just "give it five minutes - you'll be hooked, we promise." And I was. How fitting that I was "hooked" on a movie about just that ... getting hooked on crack in 80s New York City .

Be careful though. Before you know it, "the sh*t be callin' you man ... sh*t be callin' you."

5 - Can't Buy Me Love
Even as a wee lass of 16, I knew that Patrick Dempsey was something special (and quite attractive, even with that crooked smile and humongo schnoz ... which he has since grown into very nicely, thank you very much).

CBML is a sweet, coming of age film (blecch) in which Dempsey "rents" the most popular girl in school in the hopes of losing his rep as a geek.

And a bonus appearance by a young Seth Green ... how can you go wrong? Don't forget to practice your moves for the African Anteater Ritual.

4 - Sid and Nancy
Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen. What losers. Although for some reason I cannot resist whacked out love stories about twisted, volatile, famous couples. Even though I want to punch Nancy (played by Chloe Webb) in the face to shut her up, I still love it.

You may want to turn on the captioning, though. I can't understand a word those English blokes say most of the time without it.

3 - Star 80
Another feel-bad movie about a couple who ends up six feet under ... although this one is much more tragic.

I believe this is the movie that single-handedly ruined Eric Roberts' career. He does such a good job of playing the smarmy low-life Paul Snider, that I have never been able to imagine him as anyone else.

Unfortunately, a movie that was supposed to pay homage to Playboy Playmate Dorothy Stratten (who was murdered at the age of 20), ultimately focused on the jealous, insidious Snider who was not only her husband, but also her killer.

2 - Urban Cowboy
"All cowboys ain't dumb. Some of 'em got smarts real good, like me."

With dialog like that, how can you not be riveted? Plus, again, the hot factor. John Travolta when he was a young'n. Mmmmmmm.

1 - Showgirls
Hands down the worst movie that I will stop everything to watch. It's SO bad, it's good. It literally pains me to watch it, but I must.

Horrible acting, horrible dialog, horrible plot. But it hurts so good.

And yes, Nomi, it DOES suck.


Blogger Chase McInerney said...

Hey, LilRed --
First, thank you for the kind words. For what it's worth, I like the word "movie" better than film, too.
Anyway, I have to say I'm with you on "Star 80," "Sid and Nancy" and "Soapdish" (the only thing I didn't like in that latter flick is Cathy Moriarty seeming so much like a drag queen; after thinking she was so hot in "Raging Bull," I felt kinda betrayed).

Oh, and "Showgirls," too, you are right, is a special lapdance all its own.

2:47 PM  

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