maro Lip Schtick: Solitary confinementp

Sunday, February 27, 2005

Solitary confinement

They say that when you have a problem, talking (or in this case, writing) it out can be extremely therapeutic. And the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem in the first place.

So, here I am, taking that first step.

I used to think it was no big deal. Something I could control. I mean, I'm a pretty good girl in general, but this is one of my few vices.

At first, it started gradually. I thought I could get away with it when no one was watching. You know, I'd sneak away after lunch to do it. I don't think people paid much attention because I always brush my teeth right after lunch. I'm sure they just thought, "Oh, she's got to leave early to go brush. She's obsessed with dental health."

There have been times when I would come home on a Friday night and binge until the wee hours of the morning ... only to find myself feeling guilty and ashamed for my behavior.

It became obvious to me that I had reached the point of no return when friends would invite me to social gatherings and I would turn them down because I wanted to be alone at home where I could indulge my secret.

Wanted to be alone so I could hide my issues.

Wanted to cater to the problem that was eating away at my time, my friendships, my life.

I knew I needed help, but didn't really want help. Not then.

"I can get a grip on this," I would think. "No one has to know. And I'm sure I'm not the only person in the world who has ever had this problem."

Then it hit me. If I don't do something soon, I may lose everything. I'm not going to let this ruin my life. There are plenty of things I am proud of and don't want to squander away just because I lost control. My home, my job, my friends, my family, my cat. They are all worth fighting for.

So, can anyone recommend a good Computer Solitaire-aholics Anonymous group?

2 Comments:

Anonymous SK Waller said...

When you find one let me know. I can't go to sleep without playing until I win.

Oh, the shame!

6:29 PM  
Blogger Chevy Rose said...

Yeah, let me know also, need to enroll husband in it. He's 77 1/2 years old and costing us time together.

1:10 PM  

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