maro Lip Schtick: It's the pitsp

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

It's the pits

An Oklahoma state legislator wants to put a statewide ban on pit bull terriers.

And I understand his concerns. There seem to be more and more incidents in which people (mostly children) are attacked by these dogs.

But I think there's a more viable solution.

Let's ban the idiots who turn these dogs into blood-thirsty killing machines!

And while we're at it, let's ban the redneck cockfighting aficionadoes as well!

Now, before you get all, "These dogs are killing innocent people!" on me - don't. I get it.

But these animals are only carrying out the unfortunate programming that we, through endless inbreeding and violence training, have inflicted upon them.

So, before we make a decision to ban the dogs altogether, let's start thinking of ways to curb the human element involved. And I'm sure there's a way.

Maybe we could sic a bunch of pit bulls on 'em.


Blogger cube said...

I'd like to ban the people that come up with stupid bans like this. What's next? German shepherds? Angry gerbils? Where will this end?

11:37 AM  
Blogger The Private intellectual. said...

Absolutely, 100% on the button.

Trouble is, they'd probably alienate too many of their voters if they banned the people involved!

3:22 PM  
Blogger ticharu said...

It strikes me more as a population density problem. Humans suck, ain't no changing that, what we do to each other and to animals has always been depraved. Some of us have become sensatised, and legislation is how we try to 'train' people not to engage in these barbaric activities like cockfighting. It's because people are engaging in these activities in densely packed cities that we take any notice.
It's a short road from cockfighting to gladitorial games, and I wouldn't be surprised at all to see that kind of entertainment return without a good deal more empathy training.
People like blood. Look at boxing.

4:28 PM  
Blogger Justin said...

wasn't Petey from Little Rascals a pit bull?

9:37 AM  
Blogger Jack Burden said...

Eh, it's a tough call. It's the dogs' owners who are ultimately responsible for the way that the dogs behave. But the fact is that certain breeds of dogs are more aggressive than others. You could take the same, cruel, dumbassed dog owner who turns a pit bull into a child mauler, and give him a French Poodle. That poodle could very well go as psycho as a pit bull, but it's not going to rip off a toddler's face.

Some times, though, the dogs are just provoked. Just walking around the city, I see a lot of idiot parents who either aren't paying attention when their child starts harrassing a dog, or they think it's fine for a child to walk up to a pit bull and yank on it's ear or whatever. No one take's responsibilities for the actions of the child, or the poor parenting.

We live in a culture of child worship, where nothing is the kid's fault, and it sickens me that a dog can be destroyed by order of the court because some ill-behaved brat provoked it.

9:56 AM  

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