maro Lip Schtick: Who needs men?p

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Who needs men?

Morning Glory and the Intuitive Woman noticed that I am reading a new book called Are Men Necessary? When Sexes Collide by Maureen Dowd.

They want to know how it is so far.

Well, I typically try not to give my synopsis of a book until I'm finished reading it, but here's a morsel until then:

I am 35, single, and have never been married. I have a great job, own my home, and have only a little bit of credit card debt (hey, who doesn't, right?). Also, at the risk of sounding a bit conceited, I think I am an attractive woman (fair skin, red hair, green eyes - the red is fake, so I'm not one of those redheads covered in funky freckles) with a good sense of humor. I have great friends and have no annoying family members to have to deal with (other than my mom). Plus, I love sports.

One would think that all of this makes me a catch? Correct?

Wrong!

According to this book, these traits ensure that I will never find a man.

I am past what men are genetically pre-disposed to believe are my child-bearing years (men don't even know they do this ... it's just ingrained in their DNA to look for younger women to bear children - even if these men don't really consciously think they want kids). The fact that I am independent is also a strike against me because men don't want to have to "compete."

So, it looks as though, as my mom always likes to say, "I'm doomed."

Oh well.

At least I'll always get the remote to myself.

26 Comments:

Anonymous Kerry said...

True! Not having to fight over the remote is an awesome deal. You can eat what you want and when you want.

You also don't keep yourself awake because of your snoring (biggie there) ;)

Enjoy your singlehood!

11:13 PM  
Blogger CISSY said...

You know how we marrieds are. Always believe in romance. Though there is something to be said for control of the remote.

Men can be so stupid.

8:40 AM  
Anonymous mick said...

"Men can be so stupid"... generally, I agree but don't buy into the pop-culture paradigm, chivalry isn't dead, just more rare...

9:12 AM  
Blogger Finn said...

This explains why I rarely dated before I got married. Men can be such wimps.

I say just take young lovers and teach 'em how to make you scream! Then you can pass them on to the younger girls to deal with their underwear on the floor and clean up around the toilet when they "miss." ;)

9:51 AM  
Blogger Jolie said...

Hahaha, I'm with Megan! Thanks for visiting my site today! I'm off to read more of your stuff. Thank goodness the boss is still in trial today and I'm caught (mostly) up with my work!

10:02 AM  
Anonymous Brett said...

Wasn't it helpful of Ms. Dowd to put all of her silly notions in one place so they can be more easily avoided?
Seriously, though, she has almost no actual research behind many of her assertions, just the anecdotal testimony of a bunch of her friends, and it may be that Ms. Dowd is not in a relationship now because of some of her own personal issues. I don't know her, so I couldn't say, but I can talk a little from my own experience, and sometimes, the problem is me.
And were I not two hours distant and were it not rather unsettingly stalker-ish, I would gladly offer an invitation to an evening of "competition" over dinner, to which I might even wear a necktie. I would remove it for the following Hornets game, though...

10:11 AM  
Blogger Janet said...

I see Ms. Dowd writes fiction; how nice for her ;-)

1:57 PM  
Blogger Brian said...

As someone with two kids who is definitely not interested in having more, being past child bearing age is a PLUS!

Megan is too damn funny!

5:22 PM  
Blogger CGHill said...

I actually paid real money for Dowd's book, and it's a good thing she doesn't suffer from self-esteem issues, but it didn't exactly make me want to howl outside her bedroom window, you know?

8:25 PM  
Anonymous Morning Glory said...

Don't worry, Lil Red - cats are all you really need anyway :) Besides, I think men are simply intimidated by women who are attractive, independent thinkers, well-educated, and self-sufficent, a point that Ms. Dowd appears to assert. And, who cares if her book is not based on actual research, but instead, from her friends' anectdotal testimony? Perhaps reading the book yourself (Brett), you'll find that it's a tongue-in-cheek piece of fiction. Furthermore, maybe she isn't currently in a relationship by CHOICE, ever thought of that???

10:10 PM  
Blogger Mrs. Fun said...

I don't believe it. I think men like the mature woman.

michele sent me :)

10:14 PM  
Anonymous nicole said...

My friends and I used to have this exact same conversation amongst ourselves all the time. It makes absolutely no sense yet it's the sad reality of things.

In other words, guys suck.

Okay, I'm just kidding. But some of them ARE kinda lame.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Robin said...

Hey, don't forget about putting the toilet seat down! You won't ever have to do that,either! I'm here from Michele's, and it's funny, I just came from Utenzi's blog where he talks about another rather stark generalization like this one...could be made up as well. I just have to know, why do we believe this stuff? Even when we take it with a grain of salt/tongue in cheek, I think that part of the DNA where self deprecation is replicated just won't let us assume that it's a bunch of hooey. bleh! I'm here from Michele's today!

10:46 PM  
Blogger LilRed said...

Kerry - All excellent points, friend! You forgot that I don't have to shave my legs as often!

Cissy - You are absolutely right. Men can be so stupid. But then again, so can we women who love them!

Mick - VERY good to know that some men still believe in chivalry. Unfortunately, I think it is women who actually helped kill the chivalrous arts through the years.

Megan - Great advice, it's true. But honestly ... I've just never been attracted to younger men (but maybe I should learn to adapt)! Ha!

Jolie - Please come back again ... and often!

Brett - Did you read this book? If so ... you get points for reading what most would categorize as "chick lit!" Cool! Also, how did you know I would be attending last night's Hornets game? You really are a stalker, aren't you?! Tee hee!

Janet - I take it from your tone that perhaps you are not a Maureen Dowd fan? Hmmmm?

Brian - Hey! Thanks for dropping by! And thank you for feeding my ego! Ha!

CGHill - So I take it you didn't enjoy the book?

Morning Glory - I second that cats notion and give it a HUGE AMEN! And by the way - I want to thank you for giving me this book ... look at all the great material that has come from it!

Mrs. Fun - Thanks for stopping in! I can see why you think this because after checking in at your blog, you seem to have found the perfect relationship ... it's great to know that some couples are, in fact, happy! You go!

Nicole - I am gonna have to ask that you stop reading my mind. Guys do suck. But aren't they great?!

Robin - I may not have to deal with the toilet seat issue, but I still have to report for cat turd detail each morning and evening. Come back again!

10:15 AM  
Anonymous Brett said...

Morning Glory was right to call me on giving the impression I ignored this book without having read it. I did read much of it, and would recommend that other people who want to ignore it should read it first so they will know why. And I'm sure Ms. Dowd's friends gave real experiences, and I appreciated some of the stories. Carrie Fisher's for one, whose written work my grown-up self likes as much as my teen-age self loves Return of the Jedi, but in a different way.

I don't know if Ms. Dowd is single now by choice, but one impression I got from the book is that she would like not to be. I don't know why she isn't in a relationship -- I'm not intimidated by smart, successful women but I won't generalize that the guys she's meeting look at things the same way.

And Red, as for knowing you would be at the Hornet's game -- since I'm well over a hundred miles away, it's either a guess or super-powers that I swear to use only for Good, and never for Evil.

10:35 AM  
Blogger CGHill said...

Are Men Necessary? is a triumph of style over content, at best; what's frustrating about it is that its best sections - about Dowd's relationships with women (no, not sexual) - overshadow the book's rather thin premise.

I don't believe that I wasted my money, but I don't think Dowd made quite the rhetoric points she thought she did.

6:22 PM  
Blogger Lady Godiva said...

Brett, that 100 miles, 2 hours bit is a lousy excuse. Be gutsy enough to go out on a limb for Red and you'll never regret it... even if she does decide to put you in the "friends" category.

You could change your life forever.

2:03 AM  
Blogger chosha said...

(Over from Brian's blog.)

I've thought a lot about this very subject. As 40 looms I wonder if soon I will be not just a woman who seems beyond child-bearing years, but literally is. I'm not sure what I think about it, because it seems a little removed from reality, like imagining myself with cancer, or being fluent in a language I don't currently speak. I can kind of imagine it, but it doesn't seem real.

Guess I'll find out soon enough.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous mick said...

demos are available....

12:21 PM  
Blogger Grace said...

well then...thank goodness for men who are conscious and make choices accordingly.
Thank goodness we are all individuals and can rise above ordinary consciousness that would have our lives dictated by manipulated statistics.

the fact is more and more, women are enjoying being alone so much they are less likely to make poor choices and jump into relationships with assholes. That is what has changed, our position in society.
There are some really hot men of all ages, sizes, colors and careers who appreciate that.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Grace said...

p.s. the "funky freckles " comment would have had me tossing the book aside...I love freckles...

it's not her age that has her single, she was single in her 20's also.

pale skin is another story

10:59 AM  
Blogger LilRed said...

Brett - Very wise of you to recommend that people read the book before they diss it. And, it's good to know that some men appreciate independent, smart, successful women. Finally, always use the super powers for good, my friend. After all, you catch more honey with flies.

CG Hill - All good points! I think you may be onto something here, although I do find the book entertaining and witty. I agree with Morning Glory that this was supposed to be an attempt at tongue-in-cheek humor rather than a male-bashing piece.

Lady Godiva - Is it really you? And when did you become the guardian matchmaker?! Ha! Glad to have you back!

Chosha - You're right. We just have to take things as they come, and not get bogged down in where we think we should have been at different poihts in our lives.

Mick - I don't know ... some of us (and by some of us, I mean me) have not had the best of luck with the "lawyer types." Ha!

Thomai - You are exactly right. I was telling someone the other day that at this point in my life, I know now what I want and refuse to settle. I've made my own way so far. That's not to say that if I met the right person that I wouldn't be very happy. It just means that unlike a lot of women (and even men, for that matter), I am not unhappy about not being in a relationship. Oh, the "funky freckles" thing was my line, not Dowd's. I, too, believe that freckles are cool ... just not when there are so many of them that that they team up to form one giant freckle. And I said fair skin, not pale. Hopefully there's a difference.

11:57 AM  
Anonymous mick said...

ouch; double-stereotyped....

4:11 PM  
Blogger LilRed said...

Mick - Oh, don't worry, friend. I have several attorney pals who are great folks.

6:56 PM  
Anonymous mick said...

am sure all your pals are great folks, even despite their chosen profession

10:34 PM  
Blogger the Intuitive Woman said...

Thanks so much for the quick insight into this book, LilRed. It looks like something that would only further feed my bitterness toward (some) men and relationships. I, too, am past those "child-bearing years" at the ripe old age of 32, although for the first time in my life I've actually heard a clock ticking somewhere in the corners of my mind. I'm an educated, competitive, extrovert who has, in many instances, intimidated those of the male species. At this point in my life, I'm beginning to think that I'm just one of those women who have something more in store for them than the typical marriage, children, and house w/ 2 car garage. Now, if I could just figure out what the hell that is! Thanks again! All the best...

8:33 AM  

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