maro Lip Schtick: April 2006p

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Running on empty

I almost didn't get up today to go watch the sixth running of the Oklahoma Memorial Marathon.

But I'm so glad I did.

I told a friend of mine that I would station myself along various points of the track to cheer her on (she ran the half marathon). So at the very least, had I not gotten out of my cozy bed, I may have let her down.

But, as with years past, I am always amazed at the fact that I almost opt for bed rather than to drag out and watch one of the most amazing human feats ... the marathon.

These people are insane. But I mean that in a good way.

26.2 miles.

And all that pounding cannot be good for the bod.

But as I watch people in their 60s pounding away at what seems like a never-ending battle against the evil that is a treacherous long-distance run, I am inspired.

So inspired that I hope to participate in the half marathon next April.

Notice I said participate. I didn't say run.

I know my limits. More likely I'll sprinkle in some running with my walking.

But I'll never say never.

Who knows, maybe by this time next year, I will be known as the next Rosie Ruiz.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

Will blog for gas money


Friday, April 28, 2006

Stop bugging me

I've got the heebie-jeebies.

It's not even May and I can already hear the junebugs crashing into my window.


Thursday, April 27, 2006

I don't think you're ready for this jelly

Today I realized something.

I feel (and look) thinner when I wear pants that actually fit, rather than trying to squeeze into pants that don't any longer.

Try it! It works!

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Check it out

Todd's had a blog makeover. And while I feel somewhat responsible (not in a good way), I congratulate him on the new look.

So, please join me in encouraging Todd to keep up with the blogging on a more regular basis.

We need more guys like Todd in the blogosphere.

He's good people.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Yes. it's true. I have pulled out of my "blue period" from last week.

Life is good.

Of course you knew that.

Monday, April 24, 2006

The weekly three - week five

I have the travel bug. I get this way quite often ... but sometimes life just gets in the way of fulfilling your travel dreams.

So, I gotta know:

1 - Have you ever traveled out of your home continent?
2 - What is your favorite country in which to travel?
3 - Where would you never go again?

Remember, people. Expound your answers. One word answers are just not as much fun.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

The worst unintended pun in the history of pundom

A few days ago, psychiatrist Terry Beasley was interviewed on a local news affiliate about the Jamie Rose Bolin case in which alleged murderer Kevin Underwood planned to eat the child after killing her.

When asked about the reasons behind why Underwood may have committed such a heinous crime, Beasley replied that a lot of murderers' fantasies are driven by things they can access on the Internet, even when it comes to cannibalism.

Then, Beasley went on to mention that he believed that in Underwood's case, the Internet may have propelled his fantasies, in effect causing him to be "consumed" by them.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Tag! I'm it - #8

As you know, I am always up for a tag. This one comes my way from bloggy pal EKWisdom.

Answer the following questions using only the song titles from a chosen musician/band.

Musician I chose: Madonna (OK, OK. Not every deep, I know. But I love 'er.)

Are you male or female? Bad Girl

Describe yourself. Causing a Commotion

How do some people feel about you? True Blue

How do you feel about yourself? Nobody's Perfect

Describe your ex: Pretender

Describe your current significant other: Love Don't Live Here Anymore (obviously this will change when I meet the right guy!)

Describe where you want to be: Hollywood

Describe how you live: In This Life

Describe how you love: Burning Up

What would you ask for if you had just one wish? One More Chance

Share a few words of wisdom: Open Your Heart, Express Yourself

Now say goodbye: Goodnight and Thank You

I'm sure a lot of my other bloggy pals have done this ... but I'll take a chance. I now pass the tag baton to Steph, Nicole, Nettl, Jan and Justin.

Feel free to play ... or not.

Friday, April 21, 2006


Last night I realized another of my highly irrational fears.

I am terrified of getting a gigantuan splinter gouged into my tongue while eating a popsicle.

Crazy? A little.

But possible? Absolutely.

Therefore ... my horror ensues.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

What a dillhole

Dear God. Am I thrilled to share statehood with this guy:

Man seeks young bride (and I mean really young)

What the hell this guy could be thinking, especially in the wake of the slayings of the young girls in Tulsa and Purcell, is absolutely beyond me.


Wednesday, April 19, 2006

Hard to believe ...

... it's been 11 years.

Monday, April 17, 2006

The weekly three - week four

OK. When I am blue, I tend to REALLY wallow in it so that I can snap out of it quicker. I may watch a sad movie ... cut myself off temporarily from my social life ... take an extra nap here or there.

Well, you can imagine how pleasantly surprised I was when I noticed that AMC was playing a weekend of "April Showers" movies, or in other words, tear-jerkers.

After all, misery loves company.

So, in the name of helping me jolt myself out of my funk, let's really get "down" and dirty.

1 - What's your fave tear-jerker flick of all time?
2 - Have you ever been on an anti-depressant?
3 - What do you do to relieve the periodic blues?

If it helps, I'll start this week's festivities:

1 - I would have to say "Terms of Endearment." Timeless. And good for a cry when you need it.
2 - Yes. I was put on on anti-depressant to help me deal with the end of a long-term relationship (mentioned previously in Tag! I'm it - #7). I weaned myself off the drug about two years ago.
3 - See the beginning of this post.

Hey! I told you the questions may not always be fun. But isn't this really where the interesting stuff lies?

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Happy Easter!

So you may recall that 40 days ago I gave up bread for Lent.

It has been VERY difficult, as bread is probably my fave food item.

But I made it. And believe it or not, it is now 9:30 p.m. and I still haven't had any bread.

What the hell is wrong with me?

Saturday, April 15, 2006

I am a bad friend

A bad blogging friend, that is.

As I recently told gal pal Nicole, work has been killing me lately. So much so that at the end of the day, I just want to go home, wash my face, put on my pajamas, and go to bed.

Depressing? Yes.

So much so that I haven't even wanted to blog ... which means I haven't made the time to keep up with other blog friends.

I feel badly, but felt I should come clean.

One horrific project ended yesterday, but another one will rear its ugly head tomorrow.

So please, bear with me. And if I don't comment on your blog, it's not because I don't dig ya.

It's just that right now there aren't enough hours in the day.

Friday, April 14, 2006

Tag! I'm it - #7

One of the greatest gals I have never met, Nicole, tagged me. And I am most appreciative. The funny thing is, a lot of my answers match hers. I am not surprised, since she is, quite possibly, the younger sister I never knew I had.

1) What were you doing 10 years ago?
I was working at a job I loved (at an advertising agency) and looking forward the possibilities of advancement.

2) 5 years ago?
I had recently left a job I hated (the advertising agency mentioned above), was buying my first home, and was still recuperating from the end of a very long-term relationship.

3) 1 year ago?
Same thing I'm doing now ... contemplating the fact that there has to be more to life than wake - work - sleep. Wake - work - sleep.

4) Five snacks you enjoy:
1 - Hostess chocolate donettes
2 - banana pudding (as long as it doesn't have real banana pieces in it)
3 - chewy, fruity candy
4 - peanut butter on toasted crackers
5 - blue corn tortilla chips with salsa

5) Five songs I know by heart but wish I didn’t:
1 - My Heart Will Go On (Celine Dion)

Fortunately, I can't think of any others (I rarely memorize songs I hate)

6) Five things I would do with a LOT of money:
1 - quit my job
2 - travel the world
3 - open an animal sanctuary
4 - build a new home from the ground up
5 - sock the rest away

7) Five things I would never wear:
1 - Oklahoma State gear
2 - uncomfortable shoes
3 - a thong bikini
4 - a tattoo
5 - a mullet

8) Five things I should never have worn:
See question 7.

9) Five things I enjoy doing:
1 - giving my cat what I like to call "sweet lubbins," or in other words, hugging my cat
2 - reading
3 - rollerblading
4 - blogging
5 - having dinner with friends

10) Five bad habits (I'm not sure if these means bad habits in general, or bad habits I possess ... I'll give the ones I possess):
1 - procrastinating
2 - being negative
3 - being late
4 - being bossy
5 - being a know-it-all (I get this from my ma)

Now, I won't tag anyone specifically, but if you would like to play, as always, please drop me a line so I can check out your answers.

Join the fun!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Pet peeves - #5

If people want to park directly across from my driveway, then I don't think it should be my fault if I hit them.

Is this wrong?

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Clean and green

OK. Maybe not green.

But the biopsy on my umpteenth mole removal came back as dysplastic. Which basically means the mole is changing, possibly not for the worse, but probably not for the better. At any rate, a dysplastic mole needs to be removed.

Allow me a soapbox moment:

Use sunscreen!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

The idiot box

My TV viewing menu last night (stuff I recorded on my DVR for viewing when I can the hell around to it):

"The Presidents" on the History Channel
"The Kennedy Assassination" on the History Channel
"Primetime" about the Gospel of Judas
"Beverly Hills 90210" rerun on Soapnet

No one can tell me I'm not well-rounded.

Monday, April 10, 2006

The weekly three - week three

It's that time again, kids! The weekly three!

This week's edition is based upon conversations I have had within the past seven days.

Here goes:

1 - When you die, do you wish to be buried or cremated?
2 - Do you believe in the AntiChrist?
3 - Which scares you more: bugs or snakes?

Have fun!

Sunday, April 09, 2006

Maybe baby

I just saw this at gal pal Scarlett's.

I don't know what the hell Katie Holmes is giving birth to, but it sure as hell isn't a baby.

An open umbrella, maybe.
A large bowl, maybe.
A domed football stadium, maybe.

But not a baby.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Spring loaded

I am not crazy about this time of year. Not because I don't enjoy the warmer weather.

But because I am scared of weedeaters.

That's right. Weedeaters, lawnmowers, any type motorized lawn gear.

Every time I pass by one in use, whether I am in my car, walking, whatever ... I am convinced that the apparatus is going to send some sort of rock or other yard shrapnel careening right at my head.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Or at least the only one who admits it?

Friday, April 07, 2006

Red light district

Have you ever noticed that when you're late for work in the morning that you hit nothing but red lights?

But when you have a little time, and could use a red light (to put mascara on, of course) that you hit nothing but greens?

I can't win.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

I need a 12-step program.

Hello. My name is LilRed.

I am a computer solitaire-aholic.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

On the other hand ...

Top Ten Things I Enjoyed Least about the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament

10 - The excessive tattoos (I know. To each his own. But I'm just not a tattoo gal.)
9 - The fact that my bracket was ruined the first weekend.
8 - Oklahoma: one and done (hindsight this is probably a good thing since they would have played Florida next)
7 - Adam Morrison's mustache
6 - Billy Packer. I don't know why. I just don't dig him.
5 - Greg Gumbel's hair
4 - Adam Morrison crying at the end of the game against UCLA. I'd cry too if my team should have won and blew it in the last few minutes.
3 - Joakim Noah's insistence on doing that grunt-yell thing every time he was near the basket
2 - That George Mason didn't win it all
1 - The fact that it's over.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

64 dream teams

You know I love the March Madness. But now that it's over ... I am ready to move on. But not before I give you my list of

Top Ten Things I Enjoyed Most About the NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament

10 - The George Mason Cinderella story
9 - Having something to do for three weekends in a row
8 - The upsets
7 - Watching the UConn players and their crappy attitudes lose to Cinderella
6 - The tournament montages (Admit it! Everybody loves a good montage!)
5 - The fact that Dick Vitale is not a CBS commentator (sorry, folks ... the guy's voice drives me insane)
4 - Villanova head coach Jay Wright - Yum!
3 - Seeing all the #1 seeds miss the Final Four
2 - The fact that Texas didn't win it all
1 - The best line from a commercial ever (via Sonic, of course): "Rejected! Don't you bring that weak tot action!"

Monday, April 03, 2006

The weekly three - week two

If I do say so myself, "the weekly three" premiere went swimmingly.

So, I have decided to order a full season of episodes.

Once again, the only rule is that if you answer, please expand. Simple one-word answers won't fly here.

1 - When your alarm clock goes off, do you get right up, or snooze for a while?
2 - Do you go barefoot in your house or where something on your feet (socks, houseshoes, etc.)?
3 - Do you floss regularly?

Now. For fear of public flogging, I will begin.

1 - I must snooze for at least 30 minutes. A wretched habit, I know. But it's the only way.
2 - I always wear houseshoes. Can't help it. And because of the honking plantar's wart my mom picked up from going barefoot constantly, you can rest assured that my dogs will always be covered.
3 - Every night. It took about 33 years for me to finally develop the habit, but my gums have never looked better.

Your turn.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

What's the sTori?

OK. I actually just watched the premiere of Tori Spelling's new reality sitcom, "So Notorious."

I know, I know. I should be doing something more valuable with my time like volunteer work or writing the next great novel.

But why should I do these things when I can watch bad TV?

The truth is ... this wasn't so bad. I actually found Tori likeable, which is more than I can say for her character on one of my all time faves, 90210.

Besides. Any show with a rotund black maid that talks often about Tori's "big boobies" can't be all bad.

And since I'm almost fresh out of shows that I watch regularly, I think I might give this one another look next week.

After all, it may be gone before we know it.

Saturday, April 01, 2006

LilRed's bodily function alert - The sun keeps me in stitches

This little mishap is mole #17 I have had removed due to years of tanning and lying out in the sun.

Not to lecture you, but the sun is BAD. Very BAD.

I am not afraid of needles, nor do I mind getting shots. But let me tell you ... this particular removal hurt like a son of a bitch because it is on the side of my foot. According to my doctor, feet are the worst place where you want to have a shot given. I am a believer.

I get the stitches out this week. Not that you care, but I'll keep you posted on the biopsy results.

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