maro Lip Schtick: July 2006p

Monday, July 31, 2006

July - over and out

OK, listen up, people!

July is officially over as of today.

And you know what that means?

Only 147 shopping days left until Christmas.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Is it bad ...

... that I find this pic of Will Ferrell a little hot?

I don't get it. Because I do not dig the car racing, nor do I typically find Will Ferrell attractive (in the physical sense, that is - he is damn funny, and that's always attractive).

Maybe it's the sideburns / Wonder bread logo / old glory combo.

Whatever.

This pic makes me a little tingly.





Saturday, July 29, 2006

Miracles never cease

I have actually reached the point where I can run three miles without walking.

Not a big deal to some people, I'm sure.

But I'm doing it. My breathing is becoming less labored during the run, and I am less achy afterward.

Hopefully it will just continue to get easier.

Friday, July 28, 2006

I wish I'd said it - #2

"Floaters are better than sinkers."

- A friend of mine discussing the need for proper fiber in the diet, and how fiber affects, well, one's poop.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Weight loss words

I read this a few weeks ago at a running club meeting. I thought it might be helpful to others who are trying to lose a little weight and get back into shape.

Eat breakfast like a king,
Eat lunch like a prince, and
Eat dinner like a pauper.

Feel free to forward that little ditty to friend who may need some words of wisdom.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Weight Watchers weigh in - week 8

6.8 pounds lost.

15.6 left until I reach my goal.

Damn!

I didn't lose any this week. At least I didn't gain.

Fo' sho!

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

I can't say I'm surprised

Lance Bass says he's gay

Oh well.

That's just one more guy I won't be able to date.

Monday, July 24, 2006

Oh dear.

I told my friend Danny that the world just isn't ready to be faced with pants of this degree of tightness. Obviously he felt differently.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Mom's words of wisdom - part 3

Here's an actual conversation between dear old ma and me yesterday:

Mom: I don't like the Geico gekko.

LilRed: Why? I think he's actually quite clever.

Mom: He gives me the creeps.

At the time, I didn't think was too odd because my mother is TERRIFIED of snakes. So, I figured since the gekko is in the reptilian family, this would make sense. But nothing ever makes sense when it comes to my mother's logic.

LilRed: Why do you think he's creepy? Is it because he's all green and reptile-like?

Mom: No. It's because he reminds me of that one-eyed kitten that was all over the Internet news sites a few months ago.

LilRed (sarcastically): Oh. Yeah. I see what you mean.

OK. OK. Am I crazy? Or is it my mom who is one brick short of a load?

You be the judge:

Geico gekko

One-eyed kitten

I fully expect to hear your thoughts on this matter.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Who's the wussiest wuss of all? Wussy wuss!

You know, to be sung to the tune of the "Marty Moose" theme from National Lampoon's "Vacation..."

Blender.com has released its countdown of the 25 wussiest artists of all time.

I'm inclined to agree on most ...

... but I say Justin Timberlake is a wuss.

Friday, July 21, 2006

Good clean fun

I don't know why, but this cartoon cracks me up.

That's just good stuff.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

The real cat burglar

Evidently this little guy has a penchant for gardening gloves and winter socks.

Better to find a pair of gloves at your door than a dead squirrel.

Even if he does plan to share it with you.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Weight Watchers weigh in - week 7

6.8 pounds lost.

15.6 left until I reach my goal.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

My what is turning black?!

Well, it's official.

I guess I'm a runner.

This is apparent by the fact that following my 5K run mentioned in the previous post, I am now losing a toenail from wearing improperly fitting shoes.

Not only is it heinous looking, but it feels awesome. Nice, sore, and swollen.

At least in my case it's not the big one like for this poor gal.

Blecch.

Monday, July 17, 2006

3.1 miles down - 10 to go

A couple of days ago (Saturday, to be exact), I ran my first 5K race.

Yes, in my quest toward next April's Oklahoma Memorial Marathon (in which I hope to run the half marathon), I feel I am doing well.

Not so well to finish in the top half of female participants, but well enough to finish under 35 minutes (which was my goal time). In fact, I beat that time by a couple of minutes.

Don't get me wrong.

Running is hard. In fact, the entire time I run (whether I am training, or actually participating in a race), all I can think is, "What the hell am I doing?"

But I have to tell you.

I have only run in two races, but there is NOTHING like the feeling of crossing that finish line.

All of the sucking wind, sweating like a pig, and hating every minute of it during the run, is well-validated when I finish.

Having a feeling of accomplishment is quite awesome.

And who cares that there are 70 and 80 year olds who are finishing faster than me? One of these days I'll catch up with them.

God.

Hopefully.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Pleased to meet you! - #2

I started this forever ago, and quite frankly, didn't do a very good job of keeping it going.

But today is as good a time as any, so here goes.

I met a new bloggy pal today, and thought I would introduce him to a long-time bloggy pal.

Because, as you know, I'm all about keeping the good vibes flowin'.

So, Jay from Philly (a town I hope to visit someday), meet Guy from St. Louis (one of my fave cities in the U.S.).

And if the rest of you haven't met these guys yet, feel free to look 'em up.

They're good people ... tell 'em LilRed sentcha.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Hi. I'm LilRed. And I have Alzheimer's.

You guys have got to call me to the carpet on this the next time.

I always knew it could happen.

In the world of blogging, I figured there would come a day when I would duplicate a post. Not intentionally, but dammit.

It's really hard to remember all the crap I've written about in the past.

You may recall a few posts ago when I lamented the asshole Hummer driver who sported the Use Less Stuff sticker on his back windshield (thank you, by the way, to those who commented - your thoughts were comical, and relevant).

Well, it occurred to me a few days later that I had written a very similar post last year (albeit one asshole was driving a significantly larger environment killer than the other).

Needless to say, I was embarrassed that I didn't remember the original, so as not to repeat it again in the Hummer scenario.

But hey. Maybe I'm being a little too hard on myself.

After all, if you didn't remember, then what's the big whoop?

Friday, July 14, 2006

Never say goodbye

Did you ever notice that on TV and in the movies people never say "goodbye" when exiting a phone call?

Why the hell is this?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

"I'm sorry ...

... but you found what in my anus?!"

Evidently this is an x-ray taken of a prisoner in Pakistan's anus. The foreign object you see there is a light bulb. He couldn't eplain how it got there.

The prisoner, that is. I'm sure the doctor could explain exactly how it got there.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Weight Watchers weigh in - week 6

5.4 pounds lost.

17 pounds left until I reach my goal.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Boring schmoring

I read a story today that named Jennifer Aniston "the most boring celebrity ever."

So, she's a little boring.

Who cares?!

I mean, hells bells!

If I had a bod like hers, a sense of humor like hers, hair like hers, a smile like hers, and a bank account like hers ... well, I could stand to be a little boring too!

And, if you can snag the likes of Brad Pitt and Vince Vaughn, then I say more boredom to ya!

Monday, July 10, 2006

Holy comic book stamps, Batman!

For all you comic book-o-philes out there ... these super hero stamps go on sale Friday, July 20 through the US Postal Service.

I gotta admit, they do look kinda cool.

Get 'em while they're hot!

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Zzzzzzzzz

See if you can get through this ...

... without yawning.

Then let me know how you did.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

I wish I'd said it - #1

"I enjoy a good meal ... and a good dump."

-Grace Adler
Will and Grace

Friday, July 07, 2006

1.86 miles down - 11.24 to go

Loyal Lip Schtick readers may recall how inspired I am by the Oklahoma City Marathon runners every April, and how I aspire to run the half marathon next year.

Well, I ran my first "race" on July 4.

Granted, it was only a 3K (that's 1.86 miles to you metrically challenged Americans - and I count myself as one of those).

But 3K is better than zero-K, which is what I had been running.

You gotta start somewhere.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Well, DUH.

I was reading a news story a few days ago in which a woman was described as being "brutally raped."

It seems that's a bit redundant.

Of course a rape is brutal. That's the very nature of rape - a brutal, heinous, horrific act that people should never have to experience.

I'm just sayin'.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Weight Watchers weigh in - week 5

Thank God there is no weigh in today because of the July 4 holiday.

Somehow I don't think the the two hamburgers, two helpings of potato salad, two helpings of pasta salad, and two helpings of cole slaw I ate yesterday were within my points range.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The "3 Fs" of Independence Day

July 4th is quickly becoming my fave holiday (second only to Thanksgiving).

The food ... the fun ... the fireworks ... how much better does it get?

Now, if I could only find a way to incorporate these things into my dating life ...

Monday, July 03, 2006

What is wrong with people? #6

I saw a Hummer today with a Use Less Stuff sticker on its back windshield.

I sincerely hope someone put it there as a joke.

Because if the driver of this behemoth decided to put it there himself ... well, I guess I don't have to expound on what an asshole this guy must be.

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Time marches on

Unbelievable.

The year is halfway gone.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

I need some Y & R

Recently, after a hiatus of about 14 years, I have once again become obsessed with the Young and the Restless.

I don't know how the hell it happened, but it did.

And I gotta tell ya - Nick Newman is haaaaawt! (That's hot, by the way).

So, if you ever want to share your feelings on Jack's underhanded schemes to take advantage of Victor's head injury-induced sweeter personality ... or Brad's sneaky identity thieving ways ... or Phyllis' bastard child ...

... well, I'm here for you.

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